I
decided to break the norm of expressing myself as an HIV+ individual for a day. The
stigma in the United States of expressing your disease status is not one that
is most commonly done. It was a very interesting day to say the least and below
is an explanation of what all occurred.
After putting on the shirt I knew I
was in for some serious attention. I will be honest I was nervous breaking this
kind of norm. Not only for the comments that I was going to endure but the
association that people might think I actually am HIV+. My concern for the norm-breaking day was for
myself. Would others verbally attack me on the streets? How would I explain
myself to others who ask questions?
My Aunt/Uncle were the first people
to see me where my red shirt with the bold type face of HIV+ glaring across my chest.
They both just stopped and stared at me as I walked down the steps. It was as
if I was breaking the rules of living inside their house. I told them upfront
that this was for an HIV Stigma Campaign but they still didn’t approve. They
did not want me to portray myself like this to others in the neighborhood.
I proceed to head over to the West
Des Moines Super Target to see what kind of reactions I would get. This was
actually a planned visit to get some supplies. So I wasn’t trying to act out of
the ordinary by showing off my shirt. The first person to look at me with
disgust was three women in their mid 60’s walking out of the store. I turned
around to see if the were still staring and of course they were. They were
shaking their heads at me as well. It’s hard to explain the emotions I had from
this. It’s as if I was an outcast and I felt embarrassment for even wearing the
shirt. I tried to display a smile to them but they were having none of it.
While in the store no one really showed any concern to me other than the
checkout guy. His comment, “is that shirt a joke?” was an interesting comment
to me. I proceeded to explain the assignment to him. I though it was
interesting how a guy around the age of 25 thought of it as a joke and people
in their mid 60’s think of it as a disgrace. This ended up being the only true
interaction I had with individuals in which I didn’t know.
It was a good feeling getting to
take off the shirt at the end of they day. I felt less “hated” by the public around
me then when I had it on. Breaking a social stigma is awkward in itself but
seeing everyone’s reaction was worth the day in the shirt. It was difficult to
not explain my assignment to the older ladies at the Target. I wanted to tell
the desperately that it wasn’t true!
I feel this is a great Campaign and
doing it made me realize that becoming infected with HIV is a serious matter. Your
support system is huge, and becoming affected can damage the respect you get
from others.
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