Jordan: The Teacher Learns His Lesson

I own exactly two t-shirts that don’t say “HIV” on them.  Having worked at the AIDS Project of Central Iowa for 13 years, I gathered quite the collection.  In addition to the annual AIDS Walk/Run shirts and Be the Cure staff tees, I have a number of freebies from conferences and a few that I purchased from Nightsweats and T-Cells, a t-shirt company owned and operated by people living with HIV.  So wearing a shirt that said “HIV” on it today wouldn’t have been much of a shift for me if it wasn’t for two short lines that crossed in the center:

+

It was this positive sign that made today’s choice of attire a new experience for me.  It’s a symbol I have written, drawn, typed, spoken, and even shared with others as I delivered their HIV test results, forever changing their lives.  And despite the dozens of people throughout the years who have branded me through their stigma-sheathed perception of gays, especially gays who work in the field of HIV, I have never intentionally projected the idea that I am, or might be, HIV+.

I spent at least 10 hours out of the house in public view of others.  Mostly I forgot I was wearing the t-shirt and I had to keep reminding myself to pay attention to the reactions of others.  In fact, the entire day can be characterized by a lack of response from others.

The only response I can confidently report is my own.  My reaction actually has less to do with wearing the shirt and more to do with assigning my students to participate in the anti-stigma campaign.  I was ten times more anxious to introduce the assignment to the class than I was to participate in it myself.  I worried that it might be pushing students too far out of their comfort zones.  I wondered, if the class complained to college officials, would I find support?  How hard would I have to work for that support?  And could I even lose my job? 

Ultimately I decided to encourage, rather than require, members of the class to participate in the HIV anti-stigma campaign.  At the same time, I built in an alternative activity for students to choose.  I still ask myself if I would have been willing to allow for an alternative if the issue to be addressed was stigma associated with breast cancer or depression.  At the same time, I question how effective the assignment would have been for individuals who had been forced to participate?

After hearing stories from my students about their experiences and insights, I am very pleased with the impact of this assignment.  And among the students who selected a different topic, they reported equally meaningful experiences.  I like that they had the choice whether or not to participate and I’m proud, if not somewhat surprised (my internal stigma showing again), that almost all of them chose to do so.  If I had required students to participate, I would not have had my own assumptions challenged about whether people would be willing to step so far outside of their comfort zones in order to take a stand against HIV-related stigma.  So I am happy to report: lesson learned.