I began my day wearing my “I don’t know my HIV status” T-shirt with a full day of shopping ahead of me, including trips to the hardware store and the mall. I was a little nervous going into my day unsure of the reactions I would receive. After all, I was putting some of the most private information a person has on display, and it made me uneasy to think of how it would be perceived. However I was in for a much different experience than I had worked up in my head.
I went to the hardware store first, and surprisingly no one
seemed to pay attention to what I was wearing. I approached a store employee to
help locate a certain product; he looked at my shirt, but then politely
directed me to the product with no mention of the shirt I was wearing. I
perused the store for a while just browsing. I could see people reading my
shirt but no one said a word. I couldn’t stop the thoughts swirling in my head
ranging from “why is no one saying anything to me?” to “is it because they
think I may have HIV?”, and “maybe they really aren’t paying any attention to
what my shirt says.” I had hoped for some reaction, so confused and
discouraged, I paid for my items and left the store.
Next stop: the mall. When I arrived I discovered it was a
busy day with plenty of people roaming around. I went into a store and browsed
for a while when a saleslady approached me and asked if she could help me. I
turned to her and asked if they had a certain size and when I did, she read my
shirt and semi froze for a moment (finally, a reaction!) I was hoping she would
ask me about my shirt, but instead she told me that she would look in the back
and left. She returned with the correct size, yet this time she was much less
friendly and excused herself quickly. I continued shopping for a while and when
I went to check out, I made sure she was the one to assist me. While she was
ringing up my purchases, I explained why I was wearing the shirt, and told her
a little bit about the campaign. She looked very relieved and told me that she
didn’t know how to react because she couldn’t understand why someone would just
wear a shirt like that.
On the ride home, I caught myself thinking about what it
might be like to live with HIV and how difficult it must be to tell people that
information and have someone reject you because of it. I learned a lot from
this experience. I learned that we, as people, don’t pay attention to each
other. I also learned how real the fear must be of being rejected due to your
HIV status. This was a wonderful eye opening experience for me and I am happy
that I was able to be a part of this learning experience.
Sad, that people don't pay attention enough or care enough to react. Too bad we can't have meaningful conversations with people. If I buy 3 boxes of cat litter the clerk will comment that I must have lots of cats (not her business). But when someone wears an HIV-, HIV+, or unknown status shirt, not many are willing to comment? Hmmm... I guess in Iowa people are not comfortable discussing HIV and AIDS!
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